Monday, March 06, 2006

Writing, Not Writing...Writing, Not Writing

Why is it that I always feel creative at the wrong moment? And that when I actually have a chunk of time to sit and write, it's the last thing I feel capable of doing?

This past weekend is the classic example. We had StepSon this weekend, which always makes it harder to get anything actually typed. Sure, I can brainstorm - but getting actual words on paper is almost impossible. This weekend, though, he had lots of play practices to get to - so that meant stretches of time spent running around, but it also meant stretches of time spent home alone.

On my lunch break Friday, I was fired up. I had the break room to myself, and my pen was flying over the paper as I munched my grapes. I couldn't wait to get home. StepSon was in practice til 9, and hubby would be going to pick him up - which would give me about an hour and a half of complete alone time. My computer is basically in my living room. We only have two bedrooms, and the computer won't fit in either one. The laptop goes where I go, though, so I usually take it outside if the weather's nice so that I can have that 'alone' creative time. Friday night, Hubby wanted to have some 'together' creative time. No problem, I thought. I'll just write a steamy sex scene while he's picking up kiddo.

When they got home, I was asleep on the couch, with my laptop on my stomach. I had written about 50 words - and none of them were worth reading. I thought about staying up, drinking some coffee, getting the juices flowing through my fingers...but hubby won't go to sleep til I do (he'll get in bed and try, but he's not sleeping), and StepSon had on some movie that required a round of machine gun sounds to fill the house every 6.5 minutes. So I went to bed, secure in the knowledge that StepSon would be at practice for 8 hours on Saturday, which would require hubby to make two separate trips to get him. At least an hour apiece.

Saturday morning I was up early, before StepSon, and got on the computer. I was on a roll for about 30 minutes. But then the phone rang, there were problems with some plans we had for the afternoon...schedules had to be re-arranged and I suddenly had only 10 minutes to get dressed and out the door. All day, I had thoughts and ideas percolating in the back of my mind, ready to leap out of my hands. But we shopped ran errands for about 6 hours before heading home. By the time I was alone and in front of my computer, I could barely remember how to form a complete sentence. And then suddenly, the boys were home with the pizzas and it was movie night. Not to worry - Sunday's only a few hours away!

/sigh. Sunday wasn't much better. I did get some time alone Sunday night while Hubby went to a meeting. Did I feel like writing? No. Did I make myself? Yes.

And all day today at work, I've had the itch. I just need a couple of hours alone with my computer!

Now, where have I heard that before?


Jodie said...

Some muses are known to be quite meschievious. Looks like you have one of those. I know of one who looses sleep because her muse wakes her up in the middle of the night to get typing. Ahh, both a curse and gift it is to have such a persistant muse

Debora said...

Writing and being creative with kids underfoot (or their crazy schedules) is never easy...I've got three...I feel your pain! Hang in there. Some days are just better than others.