Friday, April 07, 2006

Lortab Ramblings

I took the day off of work so that I could get a tooth pulled. Sure, I could have made it in by about 1 PM and worked for a half day. But the tooth-ripper-outer had the powers to write me a prescription for Lortabs - which I promptly filled and started using. I'm sure that after you read this post, you'll agree that I would not have been in the frame of mind to properly represent either the government that pays me or the library profession. Well, at least not represent them well. ************************************************ I think I mentioned that I joined a gym a couple of weeks ago. I signed up at Curves, in the hopes that by the time summer got here I would not look like a top heavy pear wearing a bathing suit. I've noticed that there are many encouraging things people will tell you about working out on a regular basis. So far, I think it's just a lot of bunk that people make up to make themselves feel better about working out. Examples: Encouraging Item: Working out releases endorphins, which are miraculous little things that make you feel good. Truth: Working out makes you release massive amounts of sweat, which are miraculous little molecules that make you smell very...interesting. Encouraging Item: Working out gives you energy. Truth: Working out makes you feel like the most energetic thing you want to do is disolve into a hot tub with a glass of wine. Encouraging Item: The longer you do it, the easier it gets. Truth: The longer you pay your gym membership, the more guilty you feel when you don't go to the gym for a couple of days. Encouraging Item: After a while, you will actually look forward to going to the gym. Truth: This has to be a flat out lie. Granted, I've only been torturing myself toning up for a few weeks, but I see nothing that leads me to believe this could possibly be true. ******************************************* Hypothetical situation: If you take a lortab on an empty stomach (which is against the directions on the bottle, but - I have hole in my gums. The thought of eating made me naseaus), and then go cruising around the internet looking for a fun, simple game to keep you occupied, and you come across a game called Lucky Balls you will burst into hysterical laughter. Could they really not expend the energy to come up with a better name? It sounds like either a board game you'd buy in an adult book store or party favors for a bachelorette party. ********************************************* I'm watching Star Trek: The Next Generation. I'd forgotten how much I loved this show when it was originally on. There's another couple of episodes on, and my original plans were to lay on the couch and mindlessly watch the TV - since Hubby's at work, and I temporarily have control of the TV. But I forgot that after an hour or so Lortabs make me edgy and restless. Since we're under a tornado watch - which is almost guaranteed to turn into a Tornado warning in a few hours - I think I'll go clean out the laundry room. It's our place of safety, but it's also where the litter box is. If I'm going to get sucked into a tornado, I don't mind being doped up on pills at the time, but I really don't want to be inhaling dirty cat litter.

No comments: