Cast of Characters:
G - librarian who will be retiring in just a couple of years that likes to mother people, but you can tell she was - and is - a bad-ass.
S - mother of two, somewhat-easily shocked librarian, loves to gossip.
Me - your favorite star in work-place conversations.
Setting: I'm working the reference desk one lazy afternoon when G. & S. come up to chat.
G: "I had a colonol ask about you a bit ago."
Me: "Oh yeah? Was it someone I helped last night?" (often, people that we help on a night shift come in the next morning and expect us to be sleeping in since we worked til 10 PM the night before. Alas, we're here at 7:30 to continue the fun.)
G: "You helped him last week. But he wanted to talk to me about you."
Me, getting a little paranoid: "What'd I do? I didn't give him the wrong book, did I?" (I'm always paranoid that I'll give people a book on SouthEast Asia when they actually need South Asia, or NorthEast Asia when they need SouthEast or something equally idiotic. But really - Asia is always divided into three parts like that, but no one can quite agree on where the boundaries are. And my geography class was a long time ago. So I'm paranoid about Asia.)
G: "Nooo....He wants me to ask you out for him."
S.: "She's married!"
Me, rolling my eyes: "Are we going to go to the Senior Prom together?"
G: "He's shy"
Me: "Ask him if my husband can come along."
S., with very round eyes: "What if he says yes?"
G.: "I told him that you were married and he said it's ok, because he is too." ( why do married men use this as an excuse when they hit on married women? Is it supposed to be like two negatives making a positive, or something?)
Me: "Well, I'm glad he's thought of everything."
G: "I told him I'd have to come along to chaperone."
By now G and I are laughing. S thinks we're serious, and is a little worried.
Me: "Tell him that I don't date Lieutenant Colonols."
G: "He's a full colonol."
Me: "Oh!" pause "Tell him to come and see me when he's a General. Then we'll talk. As long as my husband is there. And you're still chaperoning."
S.: "You can't be serious!"
Just then, the Col. walked by. I didn't recognize him, and wouldn't have even noticed him - but....
G to Col: "I'm talking to her for you."
Col. looks at me, smiles and keeps on walking.
I didn't remember helping him, but then I can't remember everyone.
And he hasn't asked me for any help since.
I can't decide if it's a good thing or a bad thing that I'm not single and working on a military base.
Probably a good thing. It keeps me from getting into trouble.