A Cleansing Tuesday Morning Rant, Using the Word “Maybe” One Too Many Times

The crazies all got up early this morning. Too early, apparently. I don’t know if it has something to do with the time change, the moon cycle or if our low water supply has been tainted by the terrorists. Whatever it was, they were all on my stretch of highway, and something was definitely wrong on the interstate this morning. Maybe the commuter population of my state has been taken over by aliens. MAYBE THEY ALL NEED DRIVERS ED. This includes the cops. In a pair of high-tech cop cars. I’m pretty sure they were racing up and down the interstate. First south-bound, then they crossed the median to the north-bound lanes. Then they crossed back to the southbound and passed me AGAIN. Maybe one of them lost something important and thought that driving 80+ miles an hour would make it more visible? MAYBE THEY’RE INSANE. I hate SUVs. I can’t see around them. I can’t see what’s behind them when they’re behind me. And I really hate it when get in my car and discover that I have one on either side of me. And then, as I inch out of my space – because I can’t freaking see around the 10 foot SUV (that is really only necessary if you A) have 10 children – and in that case, buy some condoms, B) are carting around dead bodies that need to be concealed, or C) YOU WANT TO ANNOY ME) – anyway, as I try to back out, a car goes whizzing through the parking lot. And you know what? If I get hit, I’m pretty sure it would somehow be my fault. This parking lot dilemma happens more and more, and every time I get frustrated. It’s not safe to drive a car anymore? Maybe I should buy an SUV just so I can park where I want? MAYBE I’LL JUST RANT A LITTLE MORE. And then finally, I’m at work. I have my coffee. I go out to the public PCs to do a quick check of my credit card. And, once again, Capital One’s new, shiny, “you-asked-for-it-so-look-what-we-did-to-make-our-website-pretty” interface isn’t working. In the past week, this has happened to me 3 or 4 times. I can’t make a payment. I can’t even find out my balance. Maybe they have people working on it. MAYBE THEY SHOULD TRY THESE THINGS OUT? Hmm. Maybe I’m one of the crazies who got up too early this morning.