Communication. It's the Key.

The Professor, looking at the calendar: So in the last 6 weeks of the year, I have your birthday, our anniversary and Christmas. Me: Yep. It's a good time of year to be me. TP: So what do you want me to buy you? Me: Surprise me! I love surprises! TP: Okkkaayyy....{thinks for another minute}. What should I surprise you with?

Just remember that you're standing on a planet that's evolving...

I've read this blog post about 3 times today. The interesting part, to me, starts at about the 4th paragraph:

Over the next 100,000 years, the odds of humanity surviving are probably 50 percent, though species that evolve from us could last longer. The odds of us surviving the next hundred million years are roughly nil. Earth itself will become inhospitable for human life within the next 250 million years, certainly by the time the continents come back together into Pangea Ultima, and it will be inhospitable for all life within the next billion years.

And once again, I'm brought back to how incredibly apropos Monty Python is in yet another moment of life:

The universe itself keeps on expanding and expanding In all of the directions it can whizz As fast as it can go, at the speed of light, you know, Twelve million miles a minute, and that's the fastest speed there is. So remember, when you're feeling very small and insecure, How amazingly unlikely is your birth, And pray that there's intelligent life somewhere up in space, 'Cause there's bugger all down here on Earth.

Rock Me, Amadeus*

Our TV decided to quit working this week. Yes, that TV. After a weekend with 5-6 people in the house at all times - two of which were teenagers, who carry their own special brand of Hell with them at all times - it was supposed to be a relief to go to work Monday morning. Granted, it would be the relief of going to the pool when it's 100 degrees outside, only to discover that the water temperature is 85. But still, a little relief can go a long way. Except that the IT people on base chose last weekend to upgrade all of the computers from Office 2003 to 2007. Cue: The Panic Music. Four of the five people in my department needed me to sit with them and teach them how to use Microsoft Word all over again. I tried explaining that a lot of the shortcut keys still work (Ctrl-S still saves; Ctrl-P still prints. What else do they really need?). I got blank looks. Apparently, these are some of the best kept secrets in the Microsoft kingdom? To make things even more fun, three of the nine computers in my department didn't get updated - which means that two people couldn't even open Outlook to read the email telling them they had been upgraded. Is that irony at work? I spent the entire ride home contemplating which bottle of wine to open first. Then I walked in the door and The Professor told me the TV was broken. Needless to say, there has been much reading in the past 72 hours - both on my previous TV and the one that we bought last night. I could write an epic on the diferences between the two (it would basically dwell on what a piece of crap our last TV was), but we'll just leave it at: yay for shiny new toys in the living room! And so, today I took the day off of work. I wandered into the living room around 7 AM - about the time The Professor was leaving for work - and discovered that not only was Amadeus just starting on OVTV ("Youth Culture TV" does not equal Amadeus in my book, but what do I know about youth culture?), but also - ALSO - my wonderful husband had made me a pot of coffee. It's like God stepped into my life and saw what I needed. *I just watched Amadeus a month or so ago, and sent my Nashville girls an email the next day asking why the movie makes the song "Rock Me, Amadeus" get stuck in my head, when there could hardly be two musical genres so far apart. It's happening again.

In Which I Fall Behind on Life

The past couple of weeks at work have been a blur. In fact, all of June was just insane and the craziness slid into July. I'm still learning my way around my job, which is frustrating because it's been 3 months and it's NEVER taken me this long to get the hang of something. I can order the books and make the spreadsheets like I was born with my brain fully integrated with my PC. Wrapping that brain around how the government (supposedly) pays our vendors - you know, the ones who haven't been paid lately? - and keeping personnel files that have SIX distinct sections APIECE is putting more than a crimp in my daily nerd-fest. The 4 day course in "how to be a good supervisor" and the two week vacation may have contributed to the in-boxes - both virtual and real - that I can't seem to empty. Aha! This is why people have complained about paperwork since some idiotic bureaucrat invented the concept. I bet he did it to get back at his boss.

No More Birds. Unless They're Plucked and Deep Fried. Oh, and Happy Independence Day!

The Bird Experience did not end well for anyone. I would go into details, but that would make me remember the funky smell that hung around my front stoop (Does anyone say "front stoop" anymore?), and honestly, I'd kinda like to forget that. So here's the nutshell version: Ernestina needs to work on her mothering because 2 of her babies dove headfirst onto my concrete stoop when they were about 2 days old. The third baby died in the nest, hence the smell. Ernestina and partner left and didn't look back. So it's the Fourth of July - a day that we are all thankful for, because we get paid to stay home from work and put everything in our refrigerator on the grill and drink Coronas. Well, I'm getting paid for today. Thank you America! But seriously, I have to hold myself back from going all "I heart America" every year. I have one small flag, but The Professor feels that even that is a little tacky, so I can't hang it out front. I currently have it tucked between the pictures of Dead People On Our Walls - Henry VIII and Elizabeth I, which I find just hilarious. If you want some good music, hop on over to www.apr.org and listen to their live stream. It's 9:30, and they're playing some awesome music - of course, it''s an "America" themed show, but it's a look back at all different types of "American" Music. At the moment, they're doing some awesome stuff from the Cincinnati Pops. I'm sure they'll end with the usual "God Bless America" suspects later. If I'm lucky, The Bestest Friend will be here to make fun of me for getting goosebumps. Update: This radio show is awesome. They started with some sing-along stuff from a concert, moved on to some spirituals, played a TWENTY MINUTE medley of songs from Oklahoma! and have now moved onto some Gershwin stuff. It's a good day.

Imagine...

That one day the front page of Google News will look like this. Title and link shamelessly stolen from Karen.

Meet Ernestina

As the husband and I were literally walking out the door for our vacation a couple of weeks ago, I happened to glance up just outside the door -and spied a birds nest underneath the overhang off our front door. That explained the fact that a bird had been swooping around for the past few days every time I opened the door. And since we were leaving on our Great Canadian Adventure, I did nothing about it. This is what I found Saturday morning: And this morning, I opened the door very slowly and peaked out my head, and the little bird that's been swooping around just sat on her throne and looked at me while I snapped a picture. Meet Ernestina: If I move the nest, the little bird might abandon her eggs, so there they all stay. I can't help but think she might get a wee more annoyed when the eggs hatch and I have three pooping baby birds up there. I assume you noticed the brown streak behind the nest? I'm going to try to convince The Professor that we'll need to use the back door when the babies are born so the poor mother doesn't have a heart attack. Because I refuse to regurgitate worms for the little babies just so they don't starve.

I < heart > the California Supreme Court

So I'm a day late. Sue me. I watched this, and I'm not ashamed to admit - when she cried, I cried. And when she said "we're getting married", it reminded me how I felt when I said the same words in wonder four years ago. Thank you to the four members of the California Supreme Court who won this. To the other three...I'm too much of a lady to say what I think. But I'm thinking it.

Random Thoughts After Too Much Wine

Alternate Post Title: Blogs are a good place to post random thoughts It's a great night for sitting outside. A storm blew through here earlier, taking the humidity with it. For the next 6 months, storms will only increase the humidity. So I'm sitting outside to take advantage of the cool (66 degree)weather. When suddenly, about 27 minutes ago, I heard lots of screaming. It was a kid In Distress. This is Highly Unusual in my neighborhood. We are a quiet bunch. Then the pounding started. It was the sound of metal on metal, but it was so loud! I peeked through the slats in our fence - right about the time the pounding stopped - to look into the yards of our neighbors and saw nothing. I sat back down, took a sip of wine. And the pounding started again. Repeat above about 3 times. Then, I smelled a grill fired up. I love the smell of grills. So I went inside and asked The Professor about it. He hadn't heard anything, and - knowing me oh-so-well - simply refilled my wine glass and sent me on my way. And as I went back outside he said "I wonder if some one's trying to hide a body?". WHAT? How do you get from "excessive pounding noises and a grill smell" to "hiding a body" in 45 seconds? I blame it on the fact that he's a Yankee. I don't know if you've noticed, but those Yankees are some suspicious folks. On a completely unrelated topic: Stepson is at the prom. THE PROM. Now, I didn't go to either of my proms. So I can't speak with certainty about what happens at one of these shin-digs. And there's a 99% chance that I won't ever know what happens at Stepson's. But still. He's at the prom. With a GIRL YOUNG LADY. Remember when he went to his first Homecoming Dance? And The Professor and I had to drive him to the restaurant, and I took pictures and probably embarrassed the ever-loving heck out of him? (Stepson, not The Professor). In 12 months he'll be finished with high school. I need more wine.

Spring Time in Alabama

Why hello, Mr-Eighty-Four-Percent-Humidity-At-Nine-AM. So glad you're back. Any chance of all those water molecules you're holding in suspension being let loose for my tomato plants? No? At least you brought me these too look at: