Sunday, May 13, 2012

One of my employees is getting a new computer, because her old one stopped playing nicely with others. Since I know how to plug the damn thing into the wall, I get to to be the one to deal with our IT people. This requires an advanced degree all on its own.

Step 1: File a request with IT:  "I have a brand-spanking shiny new computer - still in the box! - that needs to be hooked up to the network. The employee is at work stoppage due to broken and exploded old PC that has gone to a better place. Please help."*

Step 2: Negotiate
Email from IT: Can you give me the computer's MAC address?

My reply: Sorry, it doesn't have one because it's brand new and has never been on the network.

Email from IT: Can you give me the computer name?

My reply: Sorry, it doesn't have one because it's brand new and has never been on the network.

Email from IT: It should be on the paper attached to the front of the machine from the last workstation that had it installed.

Me: It's never been installed at another work station. It's brand new. I still have the box. Will that help?

Email from IT: the address and name would be helpful.
 
My (Silent) Brain: IT DOESN'T HAVE ANYTHING BECAUSE IT IS BRAND NEW AND YOU ARE INCOMPETENT AND WE WILL JUST DO WITHOUT COMPUTERS FOR EVER AND EVER AND MY BRAIN IS LEAKING OUT OF MY EARS.

Right now, the employee is computer-less. I don't know if IT wants me to break out a Ouija Board to divine the address and name for this machine, or if they have a method that will involve me being allowed to turn the damn thing on at some point in the future. They've stopped communicating.  Honestly, it's a lot more calm in my brain now that I'm not retyping the same information over and over. Hey, did I mention that this is a brand new computer? Could you tell my IT people?

*The original request may have been more formal, but it was certainly clear that it was a BRAND. NEW. COMPUTER.

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